domingo, 22 de abril de 2018

When my world stopped


Since you've been gone, I've been trying to follow my life in a positive way. I try to see the good side of your absence, because I know I'll have you in my arms soon, but it's as if time has frozen. It doesn't pass. It just went fast while you were here. And during that time I have sought in alcohol some comfort and also with the company of friends, and good that I have the best. But nothing, nothing, relieves the saudade. Essa saudade fica cada vez maior, ela não diminui, ela só aumenta e eu não sei como isso é possível. Mas, é assim que tem sido.
But I have been trying to learn from you to be glad, and that is what has given me the strength to move on and also to pursue dreams that I've never had before. How could you, in less than a week, do that to me? I've never shared dreams with anyone else. I've always had difficulties with that, because, despite having already had several relationships, no one was able to get me off the ground. And with you I feel like this is possible. With you, I feel like everything can be possible.
I never trusted anyone that way, because I always thought that they would deceive me, I was always afraid of being myself, and every time I went completely, raw and naked, the other person didn't know how to handle. And I've been living like a birdie looking for somewhere in the world where I could travel in various places without clinging to anything, but now I feel something much bigger than continuing flying that way. Now, I know how and where to fly. I'm always light and free but I'm not just that, I'm a million things and you seem to deal well with all this universe that is me. With your sweet and honest way of being, you conquered me and won a world within my heart. And I feel loving everything I know and I find out from you. Sometimes, I feel that it's very surreal to imagine that I could identify with someone from another part of the world and want to be with that person more than anything. I feel like I'm plunging into your dense world, but not drowning, not because we're shallow, but because you're also a million things and I wonder how I can swim in this whole universe that is you.
My world stopped because we opened a door that has no way and why be closed. And as we pass that door, it's as if there is no distance, no fear or pain. It's where we can fly and dive without falling or drowning. I don't want to just have a romantic view of you, but I feel you so strong inside of me that I can't ignore the fact that it's you, the one, that I want by my side. You are the one that I feel that I can be myself, that I feel that I can take in your hand so that we can dance in this crazy world, it's with you that I want to live the best that anyone can live in this life. And I want my world to not stop, and let it keep moving until the universe makes it possible for us to meet again. Que o universo se mova para que o nosso encontro aconteça e seja infinito.